A Look at Billboard Top 10 – Week of 4/12/14

Life has been so busy these past few weeks that you can imagine my excitement when I had a few spare moments and thought to myself, “Oh, goody! I can make a blog post! Let’s look at the Billboard Top 10!”

Yeah, not much is different from when I last looked.

Sure, things have gotten shuffled around a bit and there are some new additions to the Top 10, but all in all it’s still essentially the same list. “Happy” is still No. 1, although in my opinion it’s well-deserved, and we still have that abomination of a song by Katy Perry, whose managers must have pulled some strings somewhere because I cannot fathom how such a dull, plodding song is at No. 3. “All of Me” is still at the top and is as bland as ever, and Lorde’s “Team” is surprisingly still very high.

But we do have some new songs on there, so let’s take a look.

First of all, I have to mention “Let It Go,” which is the obvious one. People have been freaking out so much over this song (and the movie) that it’s almost impossible for this song not to be in the Top 10 – in fact, it’s at No. 5 and I’m surprised it isn’t higher. I’ll say for the record that I don’t dislike this song, although I did not think it was the best one from the movie and I’ve never been a fan of Idina Menzel. I suppose I’m just tired of it. But it’s a good song. I must be fair.

I can’t stand “Pompeii,” which shouldn’t be an enormous surprise to those who have read my “Top Ten Worst Songs of 2013” post. I just don’t like music of this sort – indieish British bands who try to make universal anthems about NOTHING. This song’s premise is stupid, its lyrics are stupid, its music is unremarkable and it frustrates me deeply.

I tried to listen to “The Man,” but found it so unfulfilling I didn’t make it past 45 seconds.

“Turn Down For What” is not a song, but a conglomeration of the various noises emitted by autotuned robot chipmunks. It is unbearable.

Glancing past the top 10…

No. 11, “Best Day of My Life,” has raffle lyrics worse than Maroon 5’s “Daylight” (see Top Ten Worst Songs of 2013 for a definition of “raffle lyrics”).

No. 12 – I remember nothing about it except it’s not worth clicking on the open tab to see what the title of the song is.

No. 13 – Ke$ha. That is all.

No. 14 – JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE STOP BEING TALENTED AND MAKING SHITTY SONGS.

No. 15 – See No. 12

No. 16. “Hey Brother” by Avicii. Didn’t like it.

No. 17 – “Drunk in Love” by Beyonce – I don’t know what to say about this song except that I feel incredibly dirty for some reason whenever I listen to it. Ugh. Makes me shudder.

No. 18 – One Direction sucks

No. 19 – “Say Something” Oh, good, it seems to be losing popularity. I’ve developed a real hatred for this song since my last Billboard post. What an utterly talentless attempt at meaningful songwriting.

No. 20 – #SELFIE Is not a song. It’s a joke.

It’s a joke, right?

Right?

 

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